Adlin & Denise; Queens of Charm and Charisma.

Depressed

I've been feeling fairly depressed lately, so just let me get it all out k? Oh, and pardon the crude language.

Why should I put in so much effort when no one else is?
Why should I put in so much effort when no one appreciates it?
Why should I put in so much effort when nothing good is going to come out of it?
Why should I put in so much effort only to be bullied into doing more?

OK. That's it. I'm not going to be hardworking for PW anymore. That bloody LCK can go get someone else to do all the shit for him. What is the meaning of asking ME, and only ME to research? Just because I do my share work dosen't mean you can pile more work on me. I was told that that bloody LCK bullies me cuz he thinks I'm submissive. That's the end of me trying to be civil to him. I am going to make his life hell. I am never going to talk to him again unless absolutely necessary.

Oh, and I got an E for Physics. I kinda expected it (or even worse), but I'm still quite depressed about it. That bloody LCK got an A. That's perfectly fine with me. But the fact that he's such a cocky bastard about it just pisses me off. He suan-ed and backstabbed the only guy who is nice to him. Now the whole class is against him. Good for you, you bloody cocky bastard.

In case you are wondering, that bloody LCK is just some randon, insignificant cocky bastard in my class who thinks he owns the world. I don't care if he stumbles across this blog. I want him to. Then he can know how I really think about him. Then he can stop irritating and pissing me off by trying to talk to me.

I am trying to bridge the gap between my parents and I. It was largely my fault anyway. Let's just say that it's stressing me out. I really want to not have this gap. I really want to be close to them once more. But it's really hard. I wonder if I'll ever be able to do this.

I realised how little I missed my JC friends this holiday. Usually, I would be so happy and full of anticipation to return to school so that I can see you guys again. But now, going back to school isn't such a big deal anymore. I didn't even miss them that much in the first place. I know it's time to move on and build more friendships. But I can't seem to do it. I don't make friends that easily. And even if I do, I have a problem with trusting people in general. Urgh! This is frustrating.

Looking on the bright side of life, I got more of my fencing stuff today. Now I have 5/8 of all my equipment. Yay!